2022
Untitled 02
It all goes up in smoke
As I choke and cough
Is this the cost of salvation
On leaves my pieces lay
Staring into green I pray
Awaiting sweet carbonization
Lifted on clouds
Far from thoughts so loud
I lose all sensation
Aches and pains dissipate
Speaking foreign tongues, I reiterate
A sad realization
Flying low on this plane
Oh where do I aim
As I’m tempted by triggers
Quietly I lose time
Trapped outside my mind
Sat back on the couch struck by rigors
A void what once was
As inside turns fuzz
Oh how it figures
Held hope in above
Turbulence of troubled love
Asking for ascension
A bitten tongue fails
Smoke clears what ails
Words hard to mention
Sunken into self
Feelings on the shelf
Rather beg forgiveness than give permission
L.I.T.
Words which,
with difficulty I bring to your attention
How even the thought to mention
creates obstacles
Scripts in my head
A mess of texts
which read out with uncertainty
A list of letters who’ve lost their harmony
Arabic ن dips
Small moments of joy where
over the moon it hits
y entonces me caigo
Las malas experiencias que la vida trae
I would hope in some way
would return as kindness
To express this pain
A tongue estranged from reason
Twisted in languages, too imperfect to lean on
How I might advocate for self
feelings pile on shelves
An explanation of it all, my own personal hell
Prayers to the universe, wishes enviaron a las estrellas
Las memorias bellas, no recuerdo por la noche
Words y frases, que me ponen loco
una lengua roto
A message lost in translation
Pieces
Pieces of myself broken and torn
Stripped down and like a phoenix reborn
Hardest part is reflecting on pieces I mourn
Weight of the world behind these eyes
Tsunamis flow free as he cries
Washing away painful goodbyes
The trouble of it all lies in my own inability
To confide in me and trust hearts discernment
A river of tears I have earned it
Wash me clean of memories which choke my thoughts
Let not these spirits of moments past drag me down into the abyss
Moments of bliss come when I lose all
Falling slowly into my truth
Contact allows regrowth from the roots
I grieve for who I was before the pain
And hope that should I find myself the same
I may run faster over these plains
Fields of ash burned in my memory
As I succumb to me
Hoping that smoke clears evenly
Stakes in my heart rise and bring down again
Lost in their space and then
On new wings I learn flight